Monday, January 13, 2014

Hard To Say Goodbye!

Sunday, Aug 4, 2013 : It was noon when we headed to Kemaman to visit my dad who was hospitalised few days before. We reached there at 5.30pm. Met my sister who was looking after our dad this whole time. She told me not to be surprised…which gave me unpleasent feeling :(

When I heard my dad was hospitalised, I never thought he was in critical condition coz 2 weeks before when we went to visit him, he seemed fine. We talked and dine (berbuka) together. It never occured to me that it would be the last dinner I had with him…

It was still visiting hour when we arrived at the hospital. I went in first with my sister. Hubby stayed in the car looking after the kids. The minute I saw my dad, lying unconscious on the bed, I cried. Only then I realised that he was very ill.

I hold him, kissed him on the cheek…he was warm…he was breathing pretty hard…his eyes were closed…and it remained closed untill I left the ward :(

After I came out, my hubby went in. About half an hour later, hubby came out. And dad was still unconscious.

We break our fast at the hospital. After prayer time, hubby went in again. He recited surah Yaasin. When he came out, he told me that dad was breathing smoothly. So we decided to proceed our plan, that is to head for Kelantan, assuming that my dad would get better.

Sadly, he didn't! Just about an hour after we left the hospital, my brother-in-law texted me, telling me to turn back. I called him…asked him why?…what's wrong with dad?… He told me that the doctor was checking on dad…to confirm his death!

I cried all the way back to the hospital… no word can describe how I felt that time… part of me died along that night :(

I miss my dad so much… I miss him telling me "I love you" everytime he ended his call. I miss his voice… I miss everything about him…

On the night of 27th Ramadhan, I lost my hero, my most beloved dad. It was like a dream…hard for me to accept…but that's just life…no matter how hard for me to let him go, I still have to let him go…but he'll forever be in my heart, in my mind…and I will forever love him, as he had loved me…

Te…may peace be upon you…and may Allah bless you…I love you so much…my only regret is that I never get to say I Love You for the last time…

Your daughter,
Jan 13, 2014 @ 2005hrs

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